Presentation Feedback

Dear Group Members, Please review my presentation and use the critique sheet Dr. Archibald has provided to give me feedback so that I can improve the presentation

Conference Notes2

Going into the conference I knew my paper needed a lot of work from the notes Dr. Archibald put on Google Docs.  I had a few specific questions going in to help me get a better understanding to write my paper.  We talked about a few technologies that have had a dire impact on society, for example: telephone, television, and cars.  With the telephone we talked about the party line and how you use to hear neighbors conversations.  Transportation in San Francisco with how they took out the car lines to get people to buy cars and now the car lines are back in.  Now I plan on applying everything we talked about in the conference into my paper.

Sources on 3ResProj

The first source I found was information from a website regarding statistics on injuries and fatalities of accidents while driving on the phone of texting.  At first I tried to do a regular Google search but I didn't find the correct information.  Then I used the advanced search tools and found multiple websites with information from popular websites to trust the information.  I put driving in the "all these words" box and  I put texting, phone, calls in the "exact words" box.  Then I used the advanced search tool to find a website that showed the last 50 major inventions made in the world.  I used the same method as my first source and found a website that showed me very critical inventions that have had a big impact on society.  I used these inventions to explain which were good combinations and bad of technologies.

Conference Notes

After my meeting with Dr. Archibald I found out that I could think outside just computers from my research project.  I opened my idea to technology as a whole.  As we discussed how technology had been changing, we realized that technology is changing by combining all technologies into one.  I decided the topic of my paper would be the good combinations of technologies and the bad ones.  There are good combinations such as smart phones and bad combinations such as the sound quality of IPOD's and MP3's.  In my paper I will show my audience what combinations they should get.

ResProj Paper Ideas

Babbage and Jobs are more similar then anyone think and through their hard work they changed the world.


Today we can see the Jobs and Babbage were without a doubt right.  Computers are found in every school, most houses, hospitals, etc.  Today computers benefit the world in many ways: form or entertainment, organization, communication, distribution of knowledge, and a connection to the outside world.  
Evolution of the Computer

After reading these quotes from my 2Syn paper what do you think about these topic ideas? Do you understand what I am getting at? Which one sounds best to use for the 3ResProj? Why?

1) "It offered new and more efficient ways to organize and store information" (Lovelace 241).

2)  "The whole world saw computers as huge machines that brooded ominously behind government doors" (Playboy 1).
 

I didn't have information long enough to use the interpretive method, so I simply stuck to using the single phrase method throughout my paper.

First Paragraph of my 2Syn Paper

What has the computer done for our generation?  How did it differently influence Babbage’s generation from Job’s generation?  The computer is arguably the best piece of technology that the world has seen and only became what it is through the strong faith of Charles Babbage and Steve Jobs.  Babbage and Jobs are more similar then anyone think and through their hard work they changed the world.

What do you think my paper is about???????

What is a synthesis?

What is a synthesis? A synthesis is a document that links information from two different sources from any two periods of times (Jamieson 1). In our situation, we happen to be using two documents from different time periods. These connections show the relationship between the two documents but it is up to us to determine why the relationships are important. A synthesis provides new information, not information you can look up on the internet, so in theory you are creating new knowledge out of knowledge already discovered (Jamieson 3). The first step to making a synthesis is researching information on the two documents. For example I am researching technology, specifically how the computer was made. It was made invented by Charles Babbage and the more recent document I have explains how Steve Jobs advanced computers from Babbage to make personal computers. I am going to be explaining how Babbage and Jobs saw the potential of the computer and wanted to show the world what it was capable of. The most important thing to remember during research is that you only want to have the most important information regarding your topics. You will find a lot of information but you only want what relates your topics together, do not get caught up in merely background information about them. After you research your topics, you then have to create a thesis that explains what your synthesis will be connecting between the two documents. Finally you must decide how you are going to introduce and organize your information into your synthesis, the arguments you are going to use, and how to inform your readers of the relationship between your topics. This is how to make a well organized thesis that makes sense to the readers (Jamieson 6).

Jamieson, Sandra. Resources for Writers: Synthesis. Ed. Rebbeca M. Howard. Drew University, 1999. Web. 6 Oct. 2011. .

Insights from reading the new document

After reading the document, I have found out that Charles Babbage and Steve Jobs have a lot of differences and similarities. Although the document was just an interview, I was able to attain a lot of knowledge regarding Steve Job’s efforts to make his personal computers and how he changed the future of technology just like Charles Babbage.

Steve Jobs and Charles Babbage are similar in many ways, for starters they are the two most important players in making and furthering the technology of computers. They both made the future of computers possible. They both knew that computers would be the most important and useful piece of technology the future would hold. Regarding their inventions, Babbage’s analytical engine was equal to Job’s Macintosh. Both of these inventions opened a new form of life to their time. For example: the Macintosh was the first personal computer ever made and Babbage’s analytical engine was considered to be the first computer ever. Both machines guided the future of technology down a new path that would alter the world as we knew it.

Steve Jobs and Charles Babbage also had a lot of differences regarding their work and personal life. Job’s didn’t really seem to struggle with his personal life but he did claim that his work took up so much time he never had time to start a family. On the other hand Babbage encountered many problems in his personal life that affected his work. For example, during the production of the difference engine his father, wife, and one of his sons died distracting him from his work and being criticized by the public. They are also different because Babbage didn’t really have any competition for the computer. He was the first to come up with the idea and put it into effect. But Job’s faced many competitors and struggled to keep up with them making his job very difficult.

Revising the 1Report assignment

After I completed the rough draft and revised the comments you left, I realized I still had a good amount of work to do until it was completed. First, I started correcting my document with the little grammatical errors I made. I used first person a good amount to express what I learned or to express my opinion regarding events that occurred or displaying information that I found concerning the biographical backgrounds of Charles Babbage and Ada Lovelace. Another grammatical error I made was that I started paragraphs off with quotes without writing information that lead up to the quote to set it up. I corrected it by adding information before the quote regarding how it would relate to my primary document. The other big mistake I made in my rough draft was that I drifted away from the primary document and focused too much on background information and other information regarding the relationship between Ada Lovelace and Charles Babbage. I did not realize that the report should have been focused on the primary document and less about the individuals who made it. To fix this I connected the biographical information to the primary document by explaining how the childhoods of the two directly affected their future and the success of their inventions. My other mistakes all occurred in the work cited section. To start off I didn’t even call it a work cited page, I called it a bibliography which is similar but also used for completely different documents. Another error in my work cited page was that I didn’t have my references in correct MLA format. I did not indent the second lines of the references and I lacked information for some of them. In conclusion I think I did average on the report but still need to correct my little mistakes.

They Say/I Say--response

The exercise about the believing game interested me because I find it intriguing that actors can actually convince themselves that they believe in others convictions rather than their own. I do not like the fact that they are "faking" their opinion, but I do think it is interesting that people may not be able to tell their true opinion. I can relate this to my topic because the computer was a very successful machine, and it paved the way for future technology. It took many tries to complete, and it is still not even complete. It has much more improvement for future generations to come. With that last statement I am not taking sides. I am simply stating the facts of the beggining of the computer. Just like the believing game implies. This does not show my opinion whether it is good or bad, but it does show that I think it is successful just like the rest of the world thinks.

Technology - #1 Blogger

I chose technology because it is a topic that constantly changes the world and improves day after day. I have been interested in technology ever since I started playing video games on the computer, play station, and Nintendo 64. I was always confused and eager to learn how it worked so I took a lot of computer classes in high school and read a lot online because it was something I thought I was going to pursue. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out and I lost interest in it. Although I do plan on furthering my knowledge with technology as new inventions are created in the future because it is a crucial part of life these days.

For this project I began to research through the internet. It is arguably the best source of information because it the history of the world on it. First I went to the Course Mind Map and clicked on the links provided or side notes. Then I continued my research through various websites I found on Google. Also, when I went home for a weekend I talked to my neighbor who happened to be a computer instructor at my high school.

When I started reading my sources I started to form a firm grasp of knowledge for my topic and also found it quite interesting. This topic made me remember how much I was interested in technology. During my research, I found many exciting facts about the history of the computer and how it was made.

I found a lot of good information from http://www.charlesbabbage.net/ , this is where I got all my information about the different engines Charles built to compute various equations. On http://www.cbi.umn.edu/about/babbage.html , I found all my background information on Charles Babbage concerning his family, childhood, marriage, and kids. For my information on Ada Lovelace I got my information from the link on the course mind map. My final source was the online library where I got numerous facts about the development of the computer and Charles Babbage.